Hello. It’s me, Judge Lori Kaufman. I am writing this opening statement in the unlikely event that Beyonce and Jay-Z get a divorce and I, in my capacity as Judge, am assigned to preside over the hearing.
We shit on Chevy and various other commercials a lot,. but this is the first time we’ve ever literally shit on a product. Introducing Cologuard, the home kit for colon cancer testing. Where the mascot is a box of crap…as least it is now.